I have often seen someone out in public and thinking “Wow, s/he is short.” Then, upon walking closer, embarrassedly realizing s/he is actually taller than me. I then think, “Is this how the rest of the world sees me? Really short?” Yes, it does.
Legally, my name is just Jacqueline DeSelms. Although married for over 12 years, but I still haven’t made it down to the Social Security office to change my name. It seems all so complicated, and I hate complicated. Yet when things get complicated surrounding my name at a doctor’s office, the DMV, the bank or any other place that requires one’s “legal” name, I don’t care. It seems more complicated to change it all. So, I tell people it’s Jacqueline DeSelms-Wolfe in spirit, but for my signature let’s stick with the DeSelms part. Plus, my hand gets tired writing all of those letters, so it seems to make sense to stick with it as it is.
My husband especially likes to explain why our health insurance card is in DeSelms, but his name and our children’s names are Wolfe, that we are not divorced and, yes, he is their father. Somehow, by the grace of God, the whole name ordeal hasn’t caused the aforementioned divorce. We are married, yet when those verifying the name difference look at his ring finger, I’m sure they don’t know whether or not to believe him because neither of us wear wedding bands.
It’s not that we’re opposed, it’s just that he lost his 2 years into our marriage and I break out in a rash on my finger after only 2 days of wearing mine. We have moved on in life, wedding bands and name changes, or lack thereof, not affecting how we feel about each other.
And the JQ part? Friends called me that way back in the day and it stuck, but with them only. No one else has ever called me that, but when coming up with a title for my original blogsite (www.notsosupermomjq.com), it seemed so much easier to end it with JQ than my 10 letter first name plus my 12 letter last name, hyphen in between.
I have been writing since 2011. Now it is 2019, and I’ve changed the title. I explain here the reason for this here.